i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
