my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
