Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
