I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
