Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
