Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
