dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
