Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
