I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i dont even know how to be here
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
