do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
