It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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