She said her name was "party"
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
