Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so that wasnt chicken after all
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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