i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
