there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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