She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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