Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
This is the high leading the old right now
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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