Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i believe in u and ur pee
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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