Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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