Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
