whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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