eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize