I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
