hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
