Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
