You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
