I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
