Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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