Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
