HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
