my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
