she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
