porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
