i would punch a child for taco bell
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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