We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I intend to get homeless drunk
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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