FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
