it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize