do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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