normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
