I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
