i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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