they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Boobs speak an international language.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
