i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
