I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
