I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
