I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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