Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
