Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
