she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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