I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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