did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
