Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
