1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
