Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
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