Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
