so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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