let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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