I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
