i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
