Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
