listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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