so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
